I signed my child up because I thought I was supposed to. That was the wrong reason.

It was fall. Sign-up sheets were going around. Every other family in our circle seemed to be registering for something — soccer, gymnastics, swim team, martial arts. And I remember standing there with the form in my hand thinking: is this just what you do?

So we signed up. And the first season was fine. The second season was fine. And somewhere in the third season, I looked at my child on that sideline and realized that ‘fine’ was about the best word for it. Not growing. Not struggling. Not particularly engaged. Just — there. Going through the motions because we’d signed up for the motions.

That’s not what sports are supposed to be.

But I’ve also seen the other version — the child who found something in a sport that nothing else could give them. The kid who was shy everywhere else and became someone different on a court. The girl who turned an individual sport into a four-year love affair with her own improvement. The boy who learned more about grit and teamwork from two seasons of wrestling than from any other single experience in his childhood.

Organized sports can be one of the most powerful tools in a child’s physical development. Or they can be a very expensive, time-consuming way to check a box. The difference is almost entirely in the fit.